We live our lives in the way we have become used to living. We do not know different, although we see others behaving differently, we see them dealing with different people and situations, even life events in a far different way than we do, we just figure our way is what suits us.....until we discover otherwise! It is not wrong, it is not necessarily right, it just is, and it is different. All of us have learnt to live life through the way our families responded to their lives, dealt with situations and circumstances and people and formed patterns and habits. For so many of us we have learnt some strategies, coping mechanisms and general ways of reacting and responding that are not actually healthy and sometimes are downright destructive. So if you are seeing things in your life (or even in the lives of others) that are pushing your buttons, that you do not like then that is a good enough reason to change. For if our buttons are being pushed or we do not like something then that is causing a stress response in our bodies, that unless dealt with will cause health issues down the track.
How do we know when we need to change?
There sometimes comes a time in our life when we can really see our behaviours for what they are – that they do not serve us, they do not serve others and most of all they do not bring us happiness....this is the trumpet call to change, this is when things start to get interesting. For when we can own some behaviour, and admit that we do that, that we do not like what we do or how we react, there is huge power here at our disposal to make choices that will change that – only then do we have the potential to change. It then depends on how painful our behaviour is to us, as to how desperate we become to change.
We can be assured that if the particular behaviour we are seeing in ourselves is distasteful and needs to change, that we will be seeing a lot of that behaviour and/or reaction in those around us – our buttons will be being pushed! The more we need to change the bigger the buttons and the more frequently the pushing! This is ok – it is just helping us get the message and show us how important it is to start living a different way.
Change is exciting – it heralds something better!
So now is the time to get excited – we are being given clear messages to change – this change will bring us closer to our desired goals – and this change IS possible, and powerful......however sometimes life's challenges & experiences has meant our brain has reallocated resources of blood, energy and information away from vital body functions just to cope with overwhelm, stress, pain & illness. This is known as the stress response and when the stress response is combined with emotion, and powerful emotions we find our responses seem way overboard, especially when we start to make changes. Now this stress response has always been there, what is happening now is that we are more aware, we are more alert to the things that do not work for us anymore, and because of this the stress response seems worse, and to add to that we will get all sorts of resistance coming from within us, sabotage will come at us from all angles and when we least expect it.
What to remember as we change.
The key to this is to remember how much we dislike the behaviour/reactions we are wishing to change, and to think about how different our lives will be, how different we will be, how much freer you will be. For you will be tested – sometimes very soon down the track – like that same day you take action. This is to see how much you want change, and believe me, even tho the process may bring up all sorts of discomfort and challenges – what we CAN be is far better than what we have been – we are wiser and have seen more of what we do not want, therefore we are more clear about what we DO want!
What can I do to change?
So I hear you ask, “how can I change?” The first step is yours – you have to decide that you want it and want it enough to take action. The second is yours, you make your appointment and are clear about what you do want, what is pushing your buttons and how you want to be. The next step is yours – owning and accepting that the past behaviour/reactions were yours – this is not to put you down or judge you – it is empowering and honest – for it helps in the getting clear process of what it is you DO want.
Then the next step is “ours”, where we work together to find the memories and beliefs in your body that are triggering your reactions and behaviours, we find the things that want more blood, information, energy, the things that could be working better. Once the factors that are ready to shift are identified we have a way of reprogramming the body by reconciling physical and energetic body parts and systems, as well as clearing unhealthy beliefs, memories, toxins, past physical and emotional traumas to restore healing & health, and setting you on your journey of stepping away from the patterns, reactions and behaviours that have begun to upset you.
What can I expect as I change?
This process can be unsettling, for emotions will come up we will feel unsettled and maybe even out of sorts. This is because we are learning new ways of being, there is new neural pathways being formed, things are new, we are exercising behaviours that we may never have done before, or a very long time ago. Just like a little child beginning to walk, we never push them over, laugh at them or belittle or berate them for falling or bumping into things – we give them EVERY bit of encouragement and praise we can – for we want them to succeed!
Find a cheerleader, someone who will be there for you, but not let you away with staying stuck, limited or restricted. We all need a cheerleader, not just babies and children, we all need praise, encouragement – especially when we hit the rocky patches, when we are going through change and finding it tough. My gratitude goes to those who have kept me focused, reminded me of what I want to achieve, encouraged me and cheered me on when it all seemed too much. I would have given up many times without the wonderful people in my life and now I get the privilege of being the cheerleader for many others. Something I do not tire of, for it also reminds me of how fantastic the changes are that I have made, and how far I have come, and that there is still change to happen, some small, some large, and by reminding and inspiring others I become better at inspiring and reminding myself. We never know who in our lives could be encouraged and cheered by our support, by our encouragement. As you change, you are in a wonderful position to lead by example to those around you and give them a helping hand when they hit a rocky patch.