Whatever the reason, if we want a healthy body and mind, this needs to be addressed. We, as a human body, are a community of cells, and rely on interaction with all our other cells for health and harmony. Each cell needs information and communication with other cells to remain healthy and able to do their job. We are the same, we need interaction, support and company. Many of us who have or do crave isolation have underlying depression.
We’ve known for some time that isolation is actually bad for us mentally and also physically. We know that lonely people usually have higher blood pressure, are more vulnerable to infection, and are also more likely to develop Alzheimer’s and/or dementia. Loneliness also interferes with a whole range of everyday functioning, such as sleep patterns, attention and logical and verbal reasoning. The mechanisms behind these effects are still unclear though what is known is that social isolation unleashes an extreme immune response – a cascade of stress hormones and inflammation.
I also wonder if we isolate ourselves because somewhere inside of there is something going on, like depression or other symptoms. So often in our line of work what we see/ notice or experience in our outer world is a reflection of what is going on in our inner world. Maybe it is underlying fear, anger, guilt, sadness, rage, or any unexpressed emotions that are wrecking havoc on our mind.
There have been many times that I would be very happy with not having to interact with others in any way (stop the world...I am getting off!) kind of feeling, yet when I ask myself just what is going on to cause me to feel that way I often find it is because I am needing help. It could be that I am not getting on well with myself, and my thoughts plunge me into gray gluggy depths. OR maybe I am feeling guilty about something, maybe it is because I have said or done something and am giving myself such a hard time for “how could you be so stupid”! Maybe it is because I could have done or said something and did not follow through and are having a go at myself for that. Maybe it is because I had years of “being there for everyone” and I have forgotten how to look after me and my body/mind is screaming at me to change my ways, but does not know how to do communicate that clearly to me and is using pain or other symptoms as its message. Maybe it is because I am SO angry at others for perceived injustices that my anger is isolating me...for who wants to be around an angry person? Even if we have the lid screwed on so tight that no one else knows of our anger, it is something that is felt when in the presence of a person who may implode or explode! Maybe I feel like I have failed someone and do not deserve to be anyone’s friend, or even live! And at times it is like, well if this is my lot, then I may as well be alone, be doing it alone!
Have you ever been there? Can you relate to any one or more of the above situations?
If you have, if you are there I would like to make a suggestion - that you get out...or at least start reaching out, before you end up with potential health complications. Here are some things you could also do..
- Listen to uplifting music...smile
- Watch comedy's....LAUGH
- Get active - Take some walks in nature - preferably with someone, but if that is too much, go alone.
- Make a list of the people in your life you really want to reconnect with and start by contacting them and making a date.
- Ask yourself what advice you would give your best friend if they were where you are now.
- BE GENTLE WITH YOU...take little steps, make little changes, and have kindness to you
- Find a good therapist, one who will walk you through this time, that will empower you and assist you to go forward and about your triggers so you slip not back.
Because of our inner and outer worlds reflecting or mirroring each other to isolate ourselves from things and people that nurture us, that can assist us, from things that nourish us, that bring us joy, that uplift and enliven us, means that parts of our body; cells, organs, tissues or even body parts are being isolated. This means they are cut off – not physically, but energetically and eventually this compromises their healthy and integrative functioning. They may cease to function at their best, so we start to notice differences in our physical health, first. Maybe it is our lungs that are weakened by grief and we keep getting respiratory infections or complications. Maybe our bladder or kidneys are energetically being isolated and we become fearful, or controlling of those around us, or feeling like we are being controlled. Maybe we are constantly worried and have stomach issues. Much of the pain we experience stems from our emotional health being unbalanced - the stress this causes makes the chemical balance unhealthy, blood flow restricted and tension to occur, which results in pain.
Maybe you feel that you do not need help or support from anyone, this is unhealthy thinking at its best. We can have Illness or Wellness - the only difference is the I is replaced with We - of and by ourselves we achieve very little that is healthy or satisfactory, but together, as a team we achieve whatever we work towards. The body works and thrives on team work and co-operation, so whether you have a team of you and one other, or you have lots on your team, you will succeed and be healthier than alone. No part of our body can be healthy without the physical or energetic support of the rest of the body. Even when we have had parts removed through operation, there is still the energetic communication happening for healthy balance. Maybe because of some that have abused your friendship in the past you have lumped everyone with that label, and said “No more friends for me”. This is understandable, however maybe it is as simple as your body/mind being just that little bit healthier so you are able to make healthier choices as to who will be your friend and you can choose supportive people, and not ones who will dump on you. It is good to look at our friendships and how healthy they are – this too reflects our inner health. I am more able now to choose healthy friendships and to be a healthy friend. Our mind is very good at living in the past, and is excellent at dredging up all the memories it can to keep us in a state to misery and or pain. Believe you me; I know this all too well. Many a time, once realised this and experienced a different reality and desire I have seen how my mind loves to be in its old rut, repeating the same old same old. I am so thankful that I found out that there was a different way of being and isolation was so far from the answer I was looking for. My mind still reminds me at times of those dark days, however I see clearer now and know there is another wonderful world out there that I love to be part of, yet still choose to have my alone time, which is important.
Take heart, there is a way out, you can still have your time out, yet you can understand the overwhelming feelings you get and why they plague you. As you learn and understand you will be empowered and stronger and recognise and deal with your triggers before they become symptoms.